Why Women Leaders Face Higher Expectations, Even from Other Women

I listened to a fascinating reflection yesterday from Emily Durbin a senior leader in an international accountancy firm. She described how earlier in her career, most of her managers were male, except for one woman, who fell far beneath her expectations.

Now years later, she has realised that she was holding unacceptably high standards for that woman leader. She said that she realised that she expected MORE of this leader; to be more knowledgeable, empathetic, visionary, effective. To be MORE in every way in comparison with her male counterparts.

This interested me deeply. I wonder how often do we hold women leaders to tougher standards than their male colleagues?

If this sounds familiar, research indicates it’s not just your imagination. Women leaders often encounter a unique and complicated set of expectations, resulting from long-standing societal norms, unconscious bias, and the “double bind” dilemma.

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The Double Standard in Leadership

Leadership has historically been associated with assertiveness and decisiveness, traits deeply ingrained in traditional masculine roles. Meanwhile, women are frequently expected to be nurturing and communal.

When women step into positions of leadership, these contrasting expectations can create a persistent double standard. The "role congruity theory," for example, explains how female leaders often face prejudice due to the perceived mismatch between how women “should” behave and what people expect from leaders.

Higher Expectations from Women: What the Research Says

Studies show that women may sometimes hold female leaders to higher standards than they do male leaders. Academic research highlights that women being considered for promotions often must outperform men to receive similar recognition. I've written about this before here.

This double standard can manifest in both conscious and unconscious ways and is enforced by both men and women. Sometimes, women may expect female leaders to be even more nurturing, collaborative, and emotionally supportive than male leaders, compounding the pressure and scrutiny they already experience.

Common Biases Faced by Women Leaders, From Other Women

Double Bind: Women leaders may be labeled as 'too bossy' if assertive or 'too soft' if they are communal and supportive, restricting their freedom of expression.

Higher Standards: Female leaders are often expected to excel in both professional competence and interpersonal skills, while men are usually judged only on the former.

Queen Bee Effect: The perception of scarcity in top roles can foster competition among women, occasionally leading to greater scrutiny of female leaders by their female peers.

Leadership Style Critique: Women leaders receive feedback focused not only on their results but also on their style and approach, making it harder to succeed by conventional standards.

Unconscious Stereotypes: Internalised norms shape the way women judge other women, sometimes expecting them to be “better” simply because they share the same gender.

Why Do These Biases Exist?

Much of this bias is rooted in social and psychological factors. Traditional gender roles, unconscious stereotypes, and a limited number of leadership positions intensify competitiveness and reinforce the double bind. The higher expectations faced by women leaders indicate the need to challenge not only overt sexism but also the subtler, internalised barriers present within workplace culture.

The Impact on Women Leaders and Organisations

These biases have real consequences. Women may suffer stalled career progress, increased stress, and diminished confidence. Organisations miss out on the benefits of a diverse leadership team, and workplace culture is weakened when double standards persist.

How Can We Address These Challenges?

Raise Awareness: The first step is to recognise and talk openly about these subtle biases.

Foster Allyship: Encourage support and mentorship among women; celebrate collective success over competition.

Implement Fair Evaluations: Design clear and transparent processes for performance evaluation and promotion, reducing the scope for subjective bias.

Conclusion

Breaking the cycle of high expectations and double standards for women leaders requires awareness, action, and allyship, by everyone. As we push for greater gender equity in the workplace, it’s essential to look not only at policies and numbers but at the subtle dynamics that shape women’s leadership experiences every day. Do you have an experience to share? Join the conversation below.

References:

Buried Treasure: Contradictions in the Perception and Practices of Women Leaders (2021)

Role Congruity Theory of Prejudice Toward Female Leaders (Eagly & Karau, 2002; available as PDF online via Women Unlimited)

Which Double Standard for Women Applies To You? All of Them, And That’s the Problem (InPowerCoaching, 2025)

Gender Stereotypes in Leadership: Analyzing the Content and Consequences of Leadership Stereotypes (2023)

The Double-Bind Dilemma for Women in Leadership (Catalyst, 2024)