Are you a People Pleaser?

Are you a people pleaser?

If so, did you know it has a hidden cost?

I've coached several leaders recently who strive to please their communities.

They go out of their way to be kind and accommodating.

They offer to help with tasks that others are working on.

Their door is always open to colleagues

They immediately respond to every request for help or advice.

They sound lovely, don't they!

And they are...

...But they are also exhausted and at risk of being burnt out.

By constantly putting others first, they are not giving themselves enough time to carry out their own work.

Their priorities are often left for evenings and weekends.

They ruefully admit to people-pleasing, but don't seem able to stop, even though it's having a personal cost to their wellbeing.

In fact, when I challenged a leader recently to find a time every day which she would devote to her own priorities, she chose an hour from 7am - 8am. Effectively remaining totally available to others from 8am until the end of the working day!

The reality is, being a depleted, exhausted people-pleaser, doesn't actually best serve your organisation.

I know this from first-hand experience. I burnt out as a leader back in 2021, and a large part of that, was because of my people-pleasing addiction.

❌ When you're exhausted, you are at risk of reacting emotionally rather than professionally to the challenges that you face as a leader.

❌ You take things personally, rather than seeing them objectively. You find it harder to brush things off and move on.

❌ So you try harder to please, and exhaust yourself more.

So if you, or one of your colleagues, are people pleasers, take pause.

Do you really need to put everyone else first?

Do you really need to do your own work outside of the working day?

Will it really make a difference if you don't see that colleague immediately?

As a recovering people-pleaser, with the benefit of hindsight and distance, I have learnt that being disciplined with protecting your own time, and occasionally saying no to others, benefits both your own wellbeing and also the culture of your organisation.

By being available 24/7, you are NOT serving your community .

You're building a culture of dependence.

You're not developing or empowering others

You're also not allowing others to take risks, and potentially fail, which is essential for a psychologically safe workplace.

If people pleasing is having a detrimental impact on your wellbeing and working life, please reach out to book a FREE discovery call.

DM me to arrange a mutually convenient time.

So, can you really afford to let your people-pleasing behaviours to continue unchecked?