Courageous Conversations

There are many different reasons why some conversations can be tricky. You might need to share some bad news and want to avoid upsetting others, or you may have to provide feedback which you know your colleague will struggle to hear. Equally, you may have unreasonable demands being put upon you by others, including your line managers or external agencies. Alternatively, you might need to raise a contentious issue because your values and integrity demand this of you.

Part of being an effective leader, is learning how to have these courageous conversations, because they’re the right thing to do, and conduct yourself well - even when this challenges you personally.

I worked with a Headteacher last week (I'll call him Neil) who decided that he needed to do just that. Neil was unhappy about the impression that he was giving his line managers, and was finding that they were increasingly wanting to be involved in the operational running of his school.

Over the course of our conversation, he recognised that he was not expressing his views and opinions authentically. In meetings, he was not assertive in asking questions or challenging misconceptions.

Neil's unease culminated in a recent school visit which he had carefully planned with his team. When his line-managers arrived in school, they were late and then did not respect or follow the planned agenda for the visit. This left him feeling frustrated and annoyed, especially for his team who had gone out of their way to be available and to prepare for the visit.

During our discussion, Neil began to realise that he needed to make a positive change. He needed to reframe his thinking, change his relationship and have a courageous conversation with his line-managers.

There is another school visit planned for next term. Neil decided to use this as an opportunity to share his concerns. He decided to ask his line-managers for a meeting to plan the next visit, and ensure that he is able to spell out what went wrong for himself and his colleagues last time.

Neil is also planning to change how he relates to his line managers in meetings. He is going to be more assertive, speak his mind and ensure that his voice is heard. He recognised during the coaching conversation that when he has done that in the past, it was better received than he was expecting.

Neil recognised that, deep down, he had already known that he needed to take this actions, but coaching enabled him to identify why these things were important, and to rehearse and prepare for the best possible outcome.

🤔 So do you need to have a courageous conversation?